Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
