Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Who did Billy Mays play for?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My dick has a subreddit
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
