hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
