He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
