Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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