just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
