did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
