note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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