My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
