He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
