We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
