i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he's gonorrhea incarnate
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
