There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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