somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
