I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
