You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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