You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
