My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
