Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
