so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
