I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize