Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
