Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
