Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
