so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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