How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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