Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
