and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
