It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
