I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
