so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
