Betty ford says i'm here all night
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
