I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
