Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
