you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
