Barsexuality is the new black.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
