My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
