i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
