so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize