he thought i was a dude.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
