Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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