Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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