I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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