he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
