Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize