I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
