Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
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