I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
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