bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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