i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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