I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
