LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
