it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
