i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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