He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
