apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Randomize
