Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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